A Mother's Love.

A blog about the love I have in my heart for my two daughters and the desire I have to add to my family again. Lilly Anna here with me on Earth born October 27, 2006 and Daisy Arabella whom I lost to Trisomy 13 or 18 when she was stillborn at 36 weeks and 3 days on January 26, 2009.

Tuesday, May 4, 2010

Until then...

Doesn't know where to start...

I have been happy, truly happy the last few months. I love my new job. I know how blessed I am to have this oppurtunity and new space. But, I am feeling rather "blah" the last few days to a week. I am hoping it is just this cold or allergies that I am batteling. I am so congested. That makes for feeling bad. But, I feel a little disconnected. Disconnected from everyone really.

Enough about that... So we didn't conceive in March or April but my cycles have gotten shorter and are getting more on track. I was looking for ovulation later in my cycle in April and it happened earlier. So, we will keep on keeping on. I am really ok with it. It is still hard sometimes to see people/friends with their baby bumps or their new baby or toddler that would be Daisy's age. I cannot believe she'd be a year and 3 months old already! Time has certainly helped to heal that wound, but my heart still aches. I still want to fill that nursery in the back of the house. I want to hold and to feed and kiss my baby again. When the time comes we will be over the moon happy to see a positive pregnancy test and to hear that heartbeat again. :)Until then I try to stay patient and wait.

Mother's Day is this coming Sunday. We will be going to my Grandmother's to have lunch and I look forward to going to see Daisy and to take her the sleeping baby angel statue that I bought. I love it. The baby is so peaceful and perfect. She was born after she had already gone to heaven. That seems so backwards. But, I like knowing she went peacefully. I believe she never hurt. One day Jesus we will see her again. What a glorious day that will be. Until then, we live our lives serving the Lord and taking care of our other child/ren the best we can.

On another note...I have lost 30 lbs. since I began my weightloss journey in Feb. =) Let Summer bring it on! LOL I am so ready to take Lilly to the beach. She loves it as much as I do!


  1. I am glad to hear that you are happy again. I hope that the day soon comes when you get that positive.

  2. Thank you Mary. I am ready to see that again. My body is crazy these days it seems.


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